Hooray! AF came! She came! She ca...ow! Oh, oh ooooouuuuuccccchhhhhh!

Heyas,

So, as you may have garnered from the title, my period finally showed up...on CD 40. A week late. Yeesh, bee-atch, don't be pullin' this stuff while I'm trying for the Imp, okay? You either show up right the hell on time, or you stay away for the next year or more, capsice?

So, yeah, cramping like a (insert sufficiently vile and crass curse word of choice) and the Midol hasn't kicked in yet. Note to self...my body doesn't seem to like Vitex. Doing good on the Evening Primrose Oil, but I think I'm laying off other herbals. If the Imp doesn't make himself or herself at home in my belly this summer, we'll revisit, but as much as I love the green ways, one of the first laws is 'listen to your body.' And my body ain't having some of this stuff right now. Fair enough.

So, yeah, somebody needs to come to my house and talk me out of trying to have a home birth.

I was watching "The Business of Being Born" today (found it in my Netflix 'instant watch' section and remembered it being mentioned on the NW boards) and found myself nodding and smiling with the midwives and the stories about having a baby at home. And apart from the whole kettle of fish of taking any kind of advice from Ricki Lake, there's the fact that I really shouldn't get attached to an idea that is not likely to be practical for me.

I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be slotted as a high-risk pregnancy. I'm really quite healthy, all things considered, but I am rather significantly overweight and there are a lot of diabetes problems in my family (so far, my blood sugar, pressure, and cholesterol have remained perfectly normal, but yeah, long-term weight loss is a huge goal for me). Add to that the fact that all of my pop-poke-n-scrape doctors have commented on the rather narrow nature of my pelvic region and the fact that neither my mother nor any of my aunts were ever able to deliver vaginally, and I think I have a pretty good chance of being in the 'medically necessary' regions of C-section-ville. Joy. Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm going hell for leather for a vaginal birth...but I really would feel safer at a hospital. C'est la vie.

The things I'm gonna do for you, Imp. And all with a smile on my face.

Other than that, not much going on...started our official end-of-year state testing today. That's always fun. Two and a half hours of literally sitting and staring at my students as they take a test. Can't read, can't grade papers, can't surf the net, can't do anything but watch them. 'Cause the instant I take my eyes off of them, they're going to cheat! And then how will we be able to tell if they're learning anything?! 'Cause everyone knows the true measure of learning is how well they can parrot back facts on a piece of paper filled with questions geared towards middle-class or well-to-do white kids.

Can you sense the sarcasm?

This Elf doesn't like state testing. Or really, any kind of testing. Oh, standardized testing in general is okay...it does pay to have a baseline from which you can make comparisons. I just hate this high stakes crap with the burning intensity of a thousand suns. It essentially boils down to "We're going to ask you kids a ton of questions that don't take anything like cultural background, life experience, or socioeconomic status into account to see if they can read. And if they can't? We're going to take away all the money you use for books, supplies, and field trip experiences until they can!" And it's SUCH a crock! You know what? I'm sorry...my black kids from the 'hood are just as smart as my white kids from the million dollar houses on the other side of town, but guess what? My black kids from the 'hood haven't been exposed to dead English poets and most of them have never been out of the county, let alone to another country...how the hell are they supposed to make inferences that are completely out of their frame of reference? It's just wrong. You want No Child Left Behind, there, W? Start helping us make education fair for everyone.

*calmly steps off the soapbox that is starting to get rather high*

So, yeah, I don't like state tests.

Things Elfgirl is looking forward to: June's visit from AF...'cause that's the last one before I start trying for the Imp!

Things currently annoying the crap out of her: cat hair. Seriously, do you know how hard it is to keep shedding from three long hair cats under control?

Pretty boy of the moment: Milo Ventimiglia. Yay, Heroes is back soon!