Hello,
Once upon a time, there was a wise and intelligent Elf, with a wicked sense of humor and a damn fine right hook. She grew up and traveled far and wide, tasking herself with the wrangling of wild, demonic animals and imparting in them some sort of knowledge and civilization (known in the common tongue as Teaching Middle School). Though content with her life and career--well except for the fact that she kept ending up in WAY over-priced apartments in dodgy areas--she longed for the day when the mythical Prince Charming would ride up on his Proverbial White Steed (preferably one that would in no way be construed as overcompensating for something) so that she could start a family of her own.
And yet, as the years went by, no Prince Charming appeared. Just a couple of right toads that she really was better off without, and boy weren't THOSE some irritating experiences. Gradually, though, the wise and intelligent Elf realized something. What she really wanted was a little imp to hold in her arms and love and raise...not so much a Prince to share the duty with.
What an epiphany! But could she really do such a thing on her own? What would people think?
Then, the wise and intelligent Elf remembered that in twenty-six years, "What would people think?" had firmly established itself as one of those questions she didn't give two flips about. Right up there with "What exactly is in a hot dog?" ('cause, yeah, I don't care what kind of chemical-soaked meat by-product it is, ain't nothing as good on a summer day as a hot dog and a cold Pepsi).
And lo, did the wise and intelligent Elf embark upon her greatest journey: The Path to Single Motherhood.
And what an interesting path it has been. Four years of waiting, maneuvering, researching, and screwing up my courage to the sticking place, and finally the end is in sight. With luck, this time next year, I'll be holding my Imp. And awkwardly trying to learn how to do five things at once with only one free hand, screaming in agony whenever something brushes up against a nipple, and wondering what on Earth I was smoking when I decided to go this route.
And loving every minute of it. *grin*
Seriously, now that I'm finally in the home stretch as far as trying to conceive my Imp, I'm so breathelessly, exhileratingly, terrified and it's wonderful. It's been a long road, full of interesting twists and turns, but I'm finally closing in on my destination. I've pinned down my ovulation days (ah, delightful days of waking up entirely too early to shove a thermometer in some orifice or another, and examining slime-encrusted toilet tissue as if it holds the secrets of the universe...gotta love it), told my family (to varied, but mostly supportive reactions), and purchased my very own swim team (Donor 470 out of Northwest Andrology, if anyone's interested). All that remains is that last wait until my first attempt at insemination.
So. Excited.
Things that Elfgirl is looking forward to: squirting thawed manjuice up her ladybits while juggling a mirror, a speculum, and a flashlight. Her family coming down to visit her this Memorial Day.
Things currently annoying the crap out of her: the fact that she's gotten to a point where squirting thawed manjuice up her ladybits while juggling a mirror, a speculum, and a flashlight are, like, the most awesome thing ever...'cause EWWWWWWWWW!
Pretty boy of the moment: John Barrowman. *sigh* All the good ones...gay or taken. Or both, in this case. But damn, he's gorgeous.
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