May 17, 2008

Beside Myself With "WTF?!?!"

Heyas,

Yeah. So. Let me preface this by saying that this is a rant. A wild and irritated rant, punctuated by copious amounts of swearing and arm-waving. At least on my end, 'cause not like you can see arm waving online.

I get a call from my mom last night, who had been talking to my sister, who had been talking to my paternal aunt. And okay, news that starts with a grapevine pedigree like that, maybe not the best idea in the world to take it at face-value, but even with a whole boulder of salt, this is irking my nerves. Apparently, I am the subject of some discussion 'twixt my father and stepmother recently.

And they have decided that since my mother has so much influence over me that I have to move back to the city they live in to get away from her.

What. The. FUCK?

Okay, one, I'm twenty-six freakin' years old. I've lived in three states since graduating college, including doing two years on the opposite side of the country from my family. I think I'm pretty capable of deciding where the hell I want to live. That's not even the issue, though. So my Dad thinks I should move somewhere...so what? It's my life.

No, what moved me straight from mild irritation and amusement to full-on incandescant fury is the idea that he has any right to comment on my relationship with my mother. Yes. My Mom is the single greatest influence in my life. I talk with her at least every few days, and her opinion means a great deal to me. But you know what? My mother sacrificed a hell of a lot after my folks split up to give us a stable, decent home and took pains to raise me to understand that I am my own person and no matter what path I take, I will always have her love and support. She made me into a strong, independent woman with the courage to make my own life as I see fit.

So the suggestion that I'm some kind of spineless "Yes ma'am" type? Pisses. Me. Off. Moving aside from what he's suggesting about my Mom, what does that say about how he views me? What, like I'm some mentally deficient moron who needs to be shielded from undue influence for my own good.

Fuck that noise.

I'm so angry I could spit right now. Dad and Stepmom are coming down to visit over Memorial Day...and I honestly don't know what I'm going to say to them. I mean, how do you respond to something like that? I have no particular desire to spend my weekend fighting, but I'm not going to just let this lie. Ugh. Just when I think my relationship with my father can't get anymore massively complicated.

Turning to other, more pleasant matters, I'm eagerly flying through the final countdown of TTC. July it shall be, the first (and hopefully last) attempt. Got my swim team, got my OPK's, got my little helpers. At the moment I'm taking Rainbow Light prenatals (have been for about two months, now), Evening Primrose Oil (2000 mgs a day), and two or three cups of Fertilitea a day. Pretty good stuff, the tea...tastes vaguely minty and has all sorts of fertility-boosting goodness in it. Vitex, Nettles, Red Raspberry Leaf, Lady's Mantle...all good for evening out the hormones and making the uterus a nice, friendly place for a baby. The nettles have the added benefit of detoxifying kidneys and adrenals. Yay! I'm pretty sure the kidneys are screaming from the abuse I put them through with my soda habit. Been trying to cut that back...managed to get it down to two or so a day (down from six or seven, so, you know...good) and I think I'm gonna cold-turkey it the rest of the way.

Stop laughing, caffeine is just as addictive as nicotine. It does not, however, make for good baby-making, and so away it shall go. My Imp is way more important than my taste for Diet Dr. Pepper. *sigh*

Things Elfgirl is looking forward to: Prince Caspian.

Things currently annoying the crap out of her: *references first half of this post*

Pretty boy of the moment: Shia LeBouf...can't wait for Indiana Jones!

1 comment:

twondra said...

I'm so glad you started a blog! i'm really sorry about all the family trouble. :( I hope it gets better.