I think they heard me three states away....

Heyas,

All right...for those of you who are about to be grossed out and horrified and thinking "my God, she wants to have a CHILD?!" --let me preface this by saying that nothing of this sort has ever happened to me before and will never happen again. Just bad luck, really.

But oh God, I'm on my third bottle of bleach and it still doesn't feel clean!

Got your interest, don't I?

So...I live a couple states over from most of my family, and during the summers I go home to teach at a local university, and see everyone for a few weeks. Fun, right? Okay, thing is, I'm about the most unorganized person on the face of the planet...like serious "Absent Minded Professor" territory. It's a bit of a handicap, but I can usually function. Just...some details get lost, okay?

Any road, so I was really proud of myself as I was packing this year. I remembered my cell phone charger, and my dress shoes for my teaching job, and a few bills I needed to mail before I left. Except one.

The electric bill.

Anyone guessed where I'm going with this yet?

So, I had to head back to my apartment yesterday, and don't get in until around midnight (fuckin' traffic). I haul all my crap up the ridiculously steep stairs that lead to my apartment, wrestle the door open, and hit the switch to turn on my hall light....

And nothing happens.

Oh. Shit.

So, yeah, long story short, my electricity's been turned off.

In ninety-degree weather.

For a freakin' MONTH.

And the cherry on this sundae of stupid-forgetful-dumbassery on my part?

I didn't clear out my freezer before I left...or the 'fridge, except for the immediate perishables.

But you know what? Even not-so-immediate perishables perish in a warm 'fridge.

So, after a ridiculously hot and sweaty night (and not in the fun way) spent in my apartment because I refuse to shell out eighty bucks for a hotel room; and even though I had a pretty good idea of what I'd find, I opened said appliance this morning...

And screamed. Bloody. Murder.

I have NEVER smelled anything so foul in my life...rancid butter, molded Hoisin sauce, sour salad dressing...and sweet baby Jesus, the freezer...oh God, the freezer.

Rotted meat, rotted frozen vegetables, rotted fish...

And maggots.

Maggots. In MY house.

I don't even know how they got into the freezer. But holy crap, it was gross.

Needless to say, I've been frantically scrubbing the kitchen down for hours, now. Full-on hazmat gear...gloves, towel wrapped around the face, mountains of garbage bags. I've gone through two bottles of Clorox Cleanup and am working on the third...and I'm still not sure I'll be able to bring myself to put anything back in that 'fridge. *shudders*

Moral of the story...if you have a lot of things that need doing, and a lot on your mind...make a freakin' list!

Imp, honey, I promise...Mommy is NOT a dirty, disgusting slob. This is a TOTAL aberration.