Adventures in Knocking Oneself Up

Heyas,

So, just swung the legs down from my second insem...huzzah, huzzah, one more to go. 'Tis definitely been interesting. I was honestly expecting this to be harder...I mean, I had visions in my head of something along the lines of the Lucy and Ethel comedy hour...exploding vials, embarrassing stains, weird noises...

Well, okay, maybe not weird noises.

That calls to mind some somewhat disturbing imagery.

But yeah, was totally expecting this to be difficult. Instead, I've found it to be remarkably straightforward to get the now-unfrozen Frozen Boy from little vial to syringe, and syringe to ladybits. So far, the biggest deal has been when I realized I'd forgotten to turn the lights out for the one I did at midnight the other night.

Well...maybe it would be better to say that I forgot to take into account that I would want the lights out...'cause really, how can someone not notice the lights are on? It's pretty obvious, what with the utter lack of darkness and all.

Any road, I was lying on the bed with pillows thrust under hips (and really, how much elevation is enough? Like, do I have to be doing a yoga headstand, or can I just tilt them a little?) and I realize I have no way to turn the lights off. And naturally, once I realized this, I REALLY wanted the lights off.

Fortunately, I managed to solve the problem with a rake.

Yes, there was a rake in the bedroom. See, I'm moving into my friend D's house and I was staying in her little tool room/guest room while what is going to be my bedroom was in total disarray.

Yeah, I don't know why there's a tool room/guest room either. Seems like an odd combo.

Any road, I was able to grab a rake off the floor and use the handle to hit the light switch. I also managed to hit my head with the handle while setting down, but that was inevitable anyway. Large blunt object in the immediate vicinity of this Elf? Oh yeah, something's getting hit.

So, that was my first insem, done twelve hours before I got the actual positive OPK. Then, I got my positive OPK yesterday at noon and just got done doing the second insem today at noon. I think I'll do the final one at midnight tonight. *nods decisively* Two midnight insems, eh Imp? The hour when the veil between worlds is thinner...I like it.

Had kind of a cool experience right before I did the first insem. I'm teaching myself how to do Tarot readings this summer...well, not so much teaching as trying to learn all the meanings of the different cards, since the actual reading is just meditating on a question and then interpreting what the cards tell you in relation to that question. For instance, the Death card could come up in the position that relates to future outcomes. If the Death card is upright, it symbolizes change, transformation, and beginnings/endings. If it's upside down, the reverse meaning comes through, which is stagnation, dead-ends, misfortune, etc. If I was asking a question about my career, the Death card in the future happenings position might symbolize a change of jobs or a promotion, or it might indicate taht staying in my current career would make me unhappy or bring about some bad changes in my life.

Sorry. Mini-lesson. I'm a teacher, can't help it.

Any road, I'd been doing a reading (naturally, the question on my mind was if I was going to be successful at this ttc thing on the timetable I was hoping for) and gotten kind of frustrated because I was having trouble with interpretation. Frustration and impatience are bad things to be bringing to a Tarot reading, so I decided to just clean the cards up and go do something else until I was in a better frame of mind. Anyway, as I was about to put the cards into the box, I muttered to myself, "God, Grandma, help me out here...I just wanna know if this'll work out or not." I've spoken about my grandmother on here before...I talk to her a lot, asking her for guidance, asking her to watch out for me from the other side. Anyway, right as I said this, and I mean down to the very second I finished my sentence, my hand spasmed or something, and suddenly half the deck started to slip out of my hand. I managed to catch it before the cards fell, but I ended up holding the deck awkwardly with my index finger between the two halves of the deck. Because of this, one of the cards in the half I'd almost dropped was exposed. Out of order, and face up instead of face down like I thought I'd stacked them. So there staring up at me is the Star card. The meaning of the Star card varies slightly depending on what interpretation you're reading, but all interpretations agree that there is nothing negative associated with this card. It's divination is of good things happening, dreams coming true, help towards a goal. It's one of the most spiritual and beautiful cards in any deck. In the deck I have, the interpretation is very focused on achievement of goals and dreams, of things happening the way you want them to, though not necessarily immediately.

Needless to say, the incident excited me.

Mommy has some non-traditional beliefs, Imp. Don't get me wrong, I'm going to raise you Catholic, the way I was. I don't go to church much anymore, I but I really think my early exposure to the church gave me a strong moral foundation that has served me well over the years. I just also believe in other, older traditions and spiritual paths, and will let you choose your own as my mother let me. But I do believe that there are ways to connect with the energy of the universe, and that that energy can tell us things. So, Imp, I hope this energy is telling me that your going to be with me soon. I really hope you come to me this time, in no small aprt because the timing of your birth would be FANTASTIC if you started to grow inside me this month. I could have a long time home with you after you're born. But, I really feel that at least now I know that you'll be with me no matter what...so if you can't come this time, that'll be all right.

I just really hope you come this time :)

If nothing else, I don't wanna risk scratching my ladybits with the syringe the way I did that first time the other night. Hurt like no one's business when I peed for two days after (though everything's fine now).