Aug 17, 2008

What....the....FUCK?!?!?!

No Africa update today...I just need to vent.

Three and a half weeks.

Twenty four days.

Not bothering to calculate the hours, minutes, and seconds.

But for the past three and a half weeks, there has not been a SINGLE day that I have not felt as though my world would be much, much better if I could just throw up, at least once or twice.

I'm not sick. I know I'm not sick. Maybe if this had started after I got to Africa, I could convince myself of food poisoning, but no...this was going on before. Three and a half weeks to be precise.

And my back still hurts.

And the girls still twinge off and on.

And smells are getting to me like I've never experienced before in my LIFE. Seriously...PIZZA was getting to be too much last night. I LOVE pizza. And I'm tearing up at random moments over stupid stuff. And my Coke suddenly tasted like potting soil the other day and WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!?!?!?!

I HAD my period this week. Somewhat. It was weird. TMI alert...but frankly, I bleed like a stuck pig. Clumps of tissue, bright red flow for four to six days, I have to change the pad at least two or three times a day. This past week? Four days of what was basically brown spotting. I could've worn the same pad the entire four days.

Except that would be gross. And smelly. Ew.

And I'm really, really trying to convince myself that it's all in my head...but I've never felt like this in my life. I shouldn't be having symptoms after I got my period, should I? Seriously, someone help? Should I go to the doctor?

Needless to say, this is seriously freaking me out. I don't know what the hell is going on with my body, and it's driving me insane.

*breathes deep*

2 comments:

twondra said...

Wow. It sounds like you definitely were pregnant and miscarried as you already know. Maybe you should go to the doc and have a beta drawn just to make sure it's going down.

I'm so sorry. :(

onemorebaby said...

Where is your blog update??? We miss you!!!