T-Minus 25 Days and Counting (Roughly)

Heyas.

So...I'm in the official countdown to my first insemination. Just waiting for AF to show up (for, hopefully, the last time for a very, very long time!). And then it's the nerve-wracking wait for the eggie to ripen and release, and the even more nerve-wracking TWW. I'm kind of looking forward to my first TWW...I think it'll be an interesting experience.

I'm slowly getting things together and ready for the Big Day...I'm giving myself one more weekend and then absolutely, positively cutting myself off the caffeine. I'm practicing contortions with hips elevated. I'm faithfully downing my prenatals, and my evening primrose oil. And I found an oral syringe.

That has attachments.

Seriously, there are attachments on a freakin' oral syringe. It's designed to shove medicine and other liquids down a kid's throat, and it's got three extra attachments that I can screw on to it. There's the medicine cup attachment, and what appears to be a wide-dispersement attachment. Honestly, what the heck would I need a wide stream of medicine for? Whatever, as long as it gets the swimmers where they need to be, I'm good.

For once, there have been very few zany adventures for me to rant and rave about in a blog entry. I mean really, generally with me, hijinx seem to ensue in everything I attempt...but things have been remarkably calm lately. I'm having fun with my sister, as she's planning her wedding and we're going to have a fun girls' day tomorrow, trying out menus at the venue she wants to have it at, and going dress-hunting. She's already got the perfect dress in mind, but she hasn't tried it on, yet. So, we'll see if it looks as good on her as it does on the web.

Other than that, eh, all's quiet on the western front. I hope it stays that way, really...less stress for me means better ttc chances, yes? It's a little hard to believe for me...this time next month, I could be pregnant. Yes, yes, I know the odds and percentages of success, but I'm going to enjoy the optimism of the young and foolish while I can. So, Miss-Suzy-Cream-Cheese, I shall give thee free rein in anticipation for next month...may your relentless good energy encompass everything, and bring me my Imp that much faster.

In lieu of a wild, mildly amusing recounting of the latest episode of the Sitcom That Is My Life, I think I'm going to dive headfirst into a simmering pool of unrelentingly mushy goo. Feel free to head elsewhere if you wish, or at least have a bit of insulin handy.

Dear Imp,

It's incredible to me how real you already are, in my head and in my heart. Sometimes, I sit back and think of you and I smile at the sheer warmth and love I feel for you. My darling, enchanting son...my precious, lovely daughter--whichever guise you come to me in, I can't wait to hold you for the first time. I'm gathering all your necessities, making provisions for your future, and each little deed or purchase makes me feel that much closer to you. I've already chosen your name...Sebastian Gabriel if you come as a boy and Lydia Caitlin if you come as a girl. Either way, I don't care...I just want you here with me.

I hope you have my green eyes and I emphatically hope you do NOT inhereit my height (such as it is). I can't wait to sing to you and read you stories. I can't wait to tote you around your first sci-fi 'con, and I can't wait for you to meet the huge, crazy, screwed up family that you will call your own and will love you beyond all reason. I can't wait to sit up at night worrying about you, about whether you'll be happy and successful, about whether or not I'm doing you a thousand disservices, about what kind of parent I am. I can't wait to support you in whatever you do, and create a peaceful, loving home for you.

I can't wait to give you a brother or sister!

Waiting for you and preparing for you has already been the most wonderful, terrifying experience ever, and I can't wait for the whole thing to magnify a thousand-fold when you're truly here. I promise, I will be the best that I can possibly be for you. I will always strive to be better for you, to give you everything you need and teach you how to be the best you can be.

I already love you more than I've ever loved anything in my life, and I can't wait to meet you, Imp...I hope it's soon.