When Elves Dream

Heyas,

When I was twelve, I had a dream that I lived in two houses and my mother's family would only visit one house, and my father's family would only visit the other house. Less than two months later, my folks announced they were splitting up.

When I was 22, I had a dream that I was standing next to my car, on the driver's side. All of a sudden, my vision zoomed in on the driver's side window (like a camera had suddenly gone super-close-up) and I woke up just as the glass shattered. That weekend, my car was broken into via someone wrapping their hand in a paper towel and punching in the driver's side window.

Fortunately, I only had fifty-two cents in pennies in the cupholder. Serves ya' right, ya' jackass!

Ahem.

A couple of months ago, I dreamed I had a meeting with my boss, and I was really scared and upset during the meeting, but my grandmother (who passed away this winter) was sitting beside me and holding my hand, and she wasn't worried. A couple of weeks ago, I got into big time trouble with my boss, but it was eventually sorted out that I hadn't done anything wrong and the trouble was withdrawn.

Why am I rambling on about this stuff? I'm sure everyone has those eerie moments of premonition...mostly, it's just our subconscious putting clues together before our conscious mind does, but my dreams tend to come true with a rather startling frequency. The above examples are merely the least strange. But there's a long history of such in my family. My great-grandmother was pretty powerful in some ways...mom swears that great-grandma could see spirits. All of the women in my family have a touch of something like that. My mother and sister are frighteningly intuitive in addition to having the same kinds of dreams I do. Other stuff goes on with us (no, I don't see dead people, but sometimes I think I hear them) but the dreams are the big one.

Now, I don't insist that anyone else believe in that sort of stuff. It is enough for me that I believe it, and I respect others' right not to. But as I approach my first attempt to conceive my Imp, I've found a lot of comfort in what I feel are signs that the universe is in agreement with me that the Imp needs to be with me soon.

Of the brushes I've had with whatever else is out there that my family is so in tune with, my favorite was a dream I had a while back. It started out innocuously enough, with me just sitting at a table somewhere. I had a card in front of me, and in the dream I just knew that the card was from my grandmother. She wasn't at the table with me, but it felt like I had just been talking to her. So, I opened the card, and it turned out to be a Mother's Day card to me from my grandmother. In it was a beautiful message of encouragement...the words escaped me as soon as I woke up, but I remember just sitting at the table sobbing, and feeling such love and support from my grandma. I DO remember, though, at the bottom was a hand-written note that just said, "Pick a good one!" Confusing, no? Except the next day, as I was reading through donor profiles for the hundredth time, I found myself drawn to one that I had previously dismissed, and he became the donor I ordered.

But the dream didn't end there. In that wonderful, abrupt way of dreams, the table disappeared, and I was standing in a store, messing with a computer screen. It took me a moment, but eventually, I realized that I was entering things in an online baby registry and more than that, in the dream, I was pregnant. Not showing or anything, but I knew that I was carrying my Imp inside me, and that it was July (in that odd way where you just KNOW things in your dreams)

Incidentally, Tammy, if you're reading this, this is the dream I told you about on your blog. FWIW, you came up behind me and we started talking, and I remember being so happy that you were finally having your baby. It struck me as odd that you would be in the dream, because at the time, I hadn't really conversed with you at all on the boards, though I'd been a great admirer of the support you so unselfishly gave others. Now, however, I think it was a sign that this summer is it for you...or so I'm really, really hoping. :)

Now, all of this can certainly be explained away with psychology. I won't dispute that. It's wish-fulfillment, and my subconscious working through my regret that my grandmother will never know my baby, and maybe a little bit of my subconscious assuring me that, yes, I am ready for the Imp.

I don't think so, though. Not with what my mother raised me to believe, and not with what I have experienced for myself. And I have no reason for writing this, except it feels good to share positive energy, and as I'm a horrible record-keeper otherwise, I want to keep this stuff as something to remember.

Imp, my love, I'm trying for you for the first time in exactly one month (well, give or take a few days!). I hope I'm interpreting right and you're just as eager to meet me as I am to meet you. I promise I'll be patient and try not to be too hurt if you can't come right away...I know we'll be together no matter how long it takes. You'll forgive Mommy, though, for being a bit hopeful that you hooked up with your great-Grandma out there in the Beyond and asked her to send me a few messages that you're on your way.