Random Thinking Is Random

So, I'm currently snowed in at my apartment...well, not technically, as the snow plows have done a rather admirable job of clearing the parking lot and while the road is still covered with a layer of snow and ice, driving is actually not too bad.

However, going out would necessitate me going out and clearing my car of about eight inches of snow with my bare hands and a towel as I do not own a broom or an ice-scraper and only have one pair of gloves that I'm NOT going to get soaked 'cause I need them when I walk Marley.

Also, I walked Marley this morning before the snow plows had gone through (hey, YOU try being cooped up in a one-bedroom with a stir-crazy 75 pound LabraHorse and see how long it takes you to give in to puppy-eyes-telepathy asking for a walk) and consequently, my jeans are soaked through from the calf down.

And no, I don't own an ice scraper 'cause I've only recently moved from a southern state where snow is a rarity...I'm just too lazy to go buy one. Same on the broom...why bother? My Dirt Devil works just fine in the kitchen.

Any road, I'm snowed in...truly a gloriously spectacular storm last night...we got nearly a foot of snow in a six hour period. It's awesome. Everything is gorgeous and crisp and white and the snow hasn't eroded to that disgusting brown-grey slush that just makes you miserable and achy everytime you look at it. Fresh, sparkling snowfall? Makes me happier than just about anything else.

And there's nothing to do but watch TV and play on the internet (really, I have tests to grade, laundry to do, and my bath tub desperately needs to be scrubbed out...but c'mon! Evidently, my school district doesn't close for anything less than a level four snow emergency, so I'm unlikely to get days off this winter...I'm damn well gonna take a snow day and just lounge in my pj's, nosh on the pineapple in my 'fridge I really have to eat before it spoils, and veg out.)

Unfortunately, Saturday television is really quite pathetic. There's a MonsterQuest marathon on the History channel...but as much as I love paranormal and cryptozoology-based reality television (dude, Ghost Hunters is SO much better than the friggin' televised prostitution and physical torture marketed under the guise of dating shows and such. Though I will admit that watching Toddlers and Tiaras gives me a certain amount of comfort in my future parenting abilities...no matter how much I suck, I'll never be as crazy as some of those stage moms. Yeesh) MonsterQuest sucks. At least Ghost Hunters often comes up with interesting and unexplainable phenomenon (and even when they don't, I can watch Tango for an hour...definitely wouldn't kick him out of bed for eating crackers). MonsterQuest is an hour of badly CGI-ed recreations of cryptozoological creatures and ominous narrative that always, always, ALWAYS ends in: "in the end, the expedition is unable to capture any new evidence of -insert random mythological beast here--The team returns home...empty-handed." Dun-dun-DUUUUUUUUN! Like I didn't see that one coming a mile off.

Though in all fairness, I should note, I have not yet turned the MonsterQuest marathon OFF yet.

Even my beloved Food Network has failed me, filling their Saturday lineup with all the crap cooking shows that can't make it in primetime. Yeah, I'm talking to YOU Five-Ingredient-Fix girl. Seriously, you have the personality impact of a wet dishrag and you keep looking at the wrong camera for your full-on, "now I'm personally talking to the audience" shots.

Even Barefoot Contessa annoyed me today. I normally like the Barefoot Contessa. Food's a little on the high-end side for my budget, but it looks delicious, and the recipes are relatively simple. I would totally make Ina my go-to cookbook for special occasions. But she's soooooooo frickin' pretentious! And then tries to pretend that she's not. Like today, there was this whole big long segment where she's standing in the giant front yard of her house in the Hamptons with a pile of freshly-cut tulips that would go for $150 in a florist's and a set of glass containers the size of a flour cannister, a Pringles can, and a friggin' BEER KEG and she's all "*groan* One of the hardest things for me is finding the right vase for my flower arrangments...it's sooo hard to judge sometimes, so I just have to try different ones until I find the one that fits." And then it's wow, let's see...no, I can't fit $150 worth of tulips in a pringles can...and wow! They just fall right over in the GLASS BEER KEG. See? I make silly mistakes too! Oh, there we go...the last one is just right! Whew, what a relief!

Bitch, please.

You live in the Hamptons, you take holiday jaunts to France whenever it strikes your fancy, and you prounounce vase as "vahz" with a straight face. Stop trying to relate to me, just show me how to make your fancy food so I can impress my friends and relatives the two times a year I can afford your ingredients.

I genuinely do like that show, and she seems like a lovely lady...those staged bits where everyone tries to convince the viewer that people prancing around there weekend Hampton homes with honest-to-God pastel sweaters tied around their shoulders are Just Like Everyone Else just annoy the piss out of me.

So yeah, not much going on here.

Still debating whether I want to try and move again next year, and if I do, whether I want to try and move in with my kid sister and take care of her a bit. Jury's still out on that. She's making some progress...evidently the nursing school thing is sticking, for now. I still don't think she has the temperment to make it as a nurse, but nothing would please me more than to be underestimating her. I'm genuinely not trying to be insulting to my sister, here. There are just some jobs that you have to have a calling for. I certainly couldn't be a nurse! My sister who IS a nurse couldn't fathom being a teacher. So if our youngest sister can make a go of it, good for her, and I will be so proud of her and so happy for her...but I just genuinely don't think she's cut out for the work and the more unpleasant aspects of the job. She could certainly do something people-oriented. Kid's got more social grace in her little finger than I've got in my whole body. I just don't see her cleaning up vomit and blood and poop and being happy with it.

And then there's the whole empathy thing. Put it like this...couple weeks ago, we went out shopping for my middle sister's wedding dress. I was there, my stepsisters were there, our mother and stepmother were there. My mom HATES my stepmother (fair enough as she is the woman Dad cheated on her with and left her for) and she still managed to put it aside long enough to be a part of something so important to C. Youngest sister, on the other hand, begged off, saying that she had a test that morning and then work. As we're trying to get her to be more focused on school, we reluctantly accepted the excuse.

Turns out, youngest sister just didn't want to get up early enough to get to the appointment at the dress boutique. She's a frickin' bridesmaid in the wedding. And it's OUR SISTER. Call me crazy, but I was not impressed.

So yeah, thinking long and hard about entangling myself in youngest sister's problems to the extent of living with her. It has the potential to be thoroughly unpleasant and stressful (things I don't need if I'm going to be trying to get pregnant this year)...but at the same time I feel that NOT doing it when I have the potential to help her get back on track would be incredibly selfish and wrong of me. And then I go back to the fact that my sister's a grown woman who has repeatedly lied to my face about very important matters for going on two years now, thrown my attempts at understanding back at me, and just in general shown not a whit of regard for anyone in our family. Do I really want to potentially put aspects of my life on hold for someone who doesn't seem to WANT help?

I dunno...I suppose the answer will come to me eventually.

On to more pleasant matters....Imp Watch, Twenty Ten.

Has a nice ring to it, eh?

So, I'm readjusting plans now that my friend J has backed out. Back to sperm banks. I've pretty much resolved to go with Midwest, but am researching other options. At the moment, I'm concentrating on just getting myself as healthy as possible...eating ridiculous amounts of fruit and vegetables, whole-fat dairy (which evidently is good for fertility, if not your waistline), and whole grains. Dieting is going pretty well. Didn't bother calorie counting during the holidays (what's the point? The best you can do for a diet during the holidays in my house is try not to overeat the awesome yummy stuff), but am back on track now. I'm also back on my herbal regimen of Evening Primrose Oil and have started an herbal supplement called Fertilaid. Was a little leery of it at first, as I don't like processed herbals as a general rule, but this stuff came with good reviews and there's nothing in it that will actually hurt me...so figured it was worth a shot. I haven't had much luck with Vitex (chaste tree) in the past, but I rather think that's because Vitex can take a few months to work properly in some people and I didn't start it early enough to take an adjustment period into account.

Oh, and I'm trying Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred as an exercise regimen.

Holy SHIT, that's the most unpleasant 20 minutes of my day, hands down. It's HARD. But, I need to get some more weight off, and the woman definitely produces results. Haven't been doing it enough to tell, yet, but if nothing else, I'm definitely going to be stronger by the time my 30 days are up.

So, Imp Watch schedule is looking like this:

February, March, April--main focus on losing weight and getting healthier
May/June--final decision on sperm bank, submit paperwork and order donor
Late July/August--attempt for the Imp, woohoo!

I'm debating on doing IUI rather than at-home ICI...I mean, there's nothing wrong with my fertility, and according to my OB-GYN, there's no reason I shouldn't be able to conceive...but IUI has a slightly better success rate, and while I like the idea of at least SOME intimacy and privacy in the conception of my Imp...*sigh* I just want him/her here. I dunno, I'll decide that closer to this spring. But it's food for thought.

Things this elf is looking forward to: More snow! :)
Things currently annoying the crap out of her: Eh, see above.
Pretty boy of the moment: Um, yeah, seriously, Jude Law has eaten my brain at this point.