Throwing It All in the Air and Letting the Universe Sort It Out

Heyas,

Well, after a couple days of hard thought and a few deep conversations with my mother and D, I've decided to try again this cycle for the Imp. I feel like I should be putting more thought into this and taking more time to fully process the fiasco that was the first attempt...but honestly? There is none. It's try now or resign myself to wait a whole other year and I just can't bring myself to do that.

Maybe it's not quite as healthy an approach as I should be taking to this...but I can't really make myself care. I know I'll spend the next year regretting it if I don't do this, and if it doesn't take, I'll know that the Universe just has some other schedule in mind. But at least I'll have tried.

So. One week to pick another donor, buy him, and get him shipped. It's too late to start my Evening Primrose Oil and get any real benefit in the CM, so I went out and bought a bottle of grapefruit juice today, and will chug it down with gritty determination. I really hate that stuff. It always feels like it's eating through my stomach lining.

Called NW to get its available donor list, and have at least narrowed things down to three possibilities--94G, 280, and 434. I think it'll probably go down to 94 and 280...434 would be my last choice of those three. I'm kind of afraid to get my heart set on any of 'em, in case I call next week and they're sold out or something. I'm almost tempted to just be all "I don't give a shit, I just want a baby!"...but I really should put more effort into it than that.

*sigh*

On the plus side, I'm hoping if I can get to that point where I'm not focusing on it so much, it'll just happen. Whatcha think, Imp?