Heyas,
So, I am officially on Christmas break. And all I can say is: Thank. The. Universe. Two whole weeks just to decompress and plan and get my energy and creativity back so I can go in and wow my kids for the looooooong stretch of time before we get another break. I'm excited.
I'm also exhausted. Why? Oh, because the other day this Elf took a field trip with seven of her kids.
A field trip FROM HELL!!!!!
*insert thunderclap and lightning flash*
No lie. Let's just recap, shall we? It started off innocently enough. My kids had a school function run by the umbrella company that runs the charter school I teach at. The function happened to be in a city three hours away, but I wasn't sweating that. I had seven kids to take care of (which, compared to what I normall have in a day is, like, nothing). I thought it would be a good time for all.
I need to learn to stop thinking things like that.
The first blow landed when I was informed that I would have to drive the kids to the event myself, in our tech coordinator's minivan. Not that I felt we should have had a bus or anything for seven kids...but I'm a little leery of the potential legal issues in transporting children in a personal vehicle. I have a several students that I regularly give rides home to--but those are kids whose parents I have a relationship with. Several of the kids I was driving, I've never even met their parents.
Then, I find out I get to pay for gas myself. I'm getting reimbursed...but the immediate expense was not something I'd planned on (I ended up spending, like, a hundred dollars on gas!) Again, not such a big deal if I had been told of it earlier. But whatever.
The actual drive itself was pleasant...the kids were hilarious and we had a really good time. Theeeeeeen, we get to the event. We ran a little late because of traffic and ended up with only about ten minutes to find the building, park, and get the kids inside for registration. And of course, the street is under construction. And it's one of those towns with a metric crap-ton of one-way streets and side streets and crap. I ended up having to do some weird hexogonal maneuver through two blocks to get us to the entrance that it told us to go to on our info packet.
Only to be told that the event was moved because of the construction and I have to go back and do the hexogonal maneuver through two blocks of traffic again to get back to a parking garage we passed when we first got off the highway.
No problem.
So we go, we get registered (barely), the event goes fine and we're only about twenty minutes behind schedule for the drive back, so I promise the kids we can go to a pizza buffet for dinner (for some of them, this was a REAL treat).
And we get back to the van, I pile them in, turn the key...and nothing happens.
Yes, this Elf apparently left the lights on and the battery is now dead. Wonderful. Fortunately, the campus security where we were had a "jumpstart" service, and we only had to wait about twenty minutes for someone to come and get us started again.
Which would have been fine, except that twenty minutes put us smack-dab in the middle of rush-hour traffic. I get back on the highway to gridlock, and only realize when it was too late that we're two lanes over from a left exit we needed to go back home. I'm not about to execute a Hail-Mary merge in a minivan with children in the back (at least ones I'm not related to), so I get off on the next exit and blunder my way through yet another hexogonal maneuver through two blocks to get back onto the highway heading back to our exit.
Things go pretty smoothly from there, and I dare to think that the worst is over. We're running about an hour late, now, but I DID promise the kids pizza buffet, so I call up all the parents and let them know that we'll be about an hour and a half late for pickup. And since I'm feeding the kids, the parents are really cool about it, and give the okay.
And the pizza buffet was fun. Really fun. A good time was had by all, and the food was pretty decent, and we actually got out earlier than I was anticipating.
So, naturally, as we are finally getting on the highway to head home, I hear from the backseat:
"Uh, Ms. E? Can you pull over?"
And I'm all, "No, I told you guys to go to the bathroom before we left! We don't have time for more pit stops, guys."
And then I hear:
"But Ms. E...I kinda pooped myself."
*sigh*
Yeah. Two of my boys were engaging in the wonderful adolescent tradition known as a "farting contest" in the back of the van and one of them put a *little* too much effort into it and "sharted".
Those of you who don't know what a "shart" is...you have no idea how lucky you are.
So I pull off a random exit and we get into one of those areas that has, like, fifty hotels, but no gas stations, and have to drive around until I finally see a Subway. Pull in there and then loiter about inside with a Coke while my kids gleefully buy cookies and our culprit cleans himself up. Lose another half hour.
At this point it's eight o' clock, it's still a two hour drive home, and I'm pretty sure I'm gonna get yelled at by some parents.
So, naturally...when we get back on the highway, I take the wrong exit, going east instead of west, and do not realize it until we've gone almost thirty miles in the wrong direction.
*sigh*
I turn around, get us back on track, but by that time we're so far behind schedule it's not even funny.
We FINALLY get back to the school at ten o' clock at night (and at that point, I was pretty sure I was gonna get punched in the throat by some parents)...but as I foolishly volunteered to drive four students all the way home (a lot of parents at our school work night shifts or multiple jobs), I literally did not get through my door until midnight.
On the upside...all the kids took time to come and tell me the next day that they had a GREAT time, even with all the problems.
And the parents were really understanding about me getting lost and no one punched me in the throat.
I consider any day I don't get punched in the throat a win.
But I still think I live in a National Lampoon movie.
Things this Elf is looking forward to: Christmas baking! Sugar cookies, date balls, raspberry-white chocolate torte! Woohoo!
Things currently annoying the crap out of her: Nothing, really. It's almost Christmas, and it's snowing! It's been almost three years since I saw a real, good, hard snow.
Pretty boy of the moment: Back to Michael Weatherly. Gah, that smile!
Dec 16, 2009
Staff Parties and Yes Another Life-Changing Decision
Heyas,
So...had our staff Christmas party this evening. I rather like staff Christmas parties...the food generally sucks, the presents are generic re-gifting of the various "World's Best Teacher" paraphenalia that every teacher has a closet full of by the end of their first year out of college (seriously, I counted once...I have, over seven years, acquired 31 coffee mugs, five mouse pads, and 18 random apple-shaped bric-a-brac.), and I think dealing with children day in and day out has a degenerative effect on our own maturity 'cause the games? Yeah, not even going there.
But...we all get together, and there's a minimum of the bitching about troublesome students that usually flows when two or more teachers congregate in the same place (I try not to bitch too much, but yeah, guilty), and I usually have a blast.
And teachers are incredibly amusing if there's copious amounts of alcohol involved. Really. Get a teacher drunk, sometime...we're hilarious!
Well, okay, the time our science teacher got plastered and groped our (female) principal's chest wasn't too funny.
No, I'm lying, it was frickin' hilarious...but only because that particular principal was a horrible administrator who made our jobs way, WAY harder than they had to be, and her expression was priceless.
Tertiary to, well, everything...I really enjoy watching Jay Ellis on Food Network Challenge. His sugar art is gorgeous, his cake designs are elegant and beautiful, he's a good looking man, and he gets this intense, focused look when he's working like if you disturb him, he will turn around and CUT a bitch and then use your blood to tint his frosting.
Ahem.
And in other news, this Elf finds herself once again at an interesting cross-roads. Some days, I really think that my life is some kind of soap-opera that, like, aliens are watching or something. Any day now, I fully expect to run into my evil twin or get amnesia or something. Any road, I mentioned a couple months ago that my youngest sister lost her damn fool mind and got kicked out of college, then promptly lost her damn fool mind some more and just spiraled out of control. Lying, trying to set family members against each other to draw attention from her lies, leaving our parents holding the bag on some pretty hefty student loans...the works. Well...she enrolled in another school and the situation had seemed to be getting better--but we recently found out that 'seemed' is the operative word there. She's STILL lying about her attendance at school, her grades, pretty much everything. At this point, we're not entirely sure WHAT she's doing with her time, but it's not being a responsible adult. And now, she's dangerously close to outright fraud with her student loans, and my parents are going to be in some serious trouble if she doesn't straighten the hell out.
So...her lease on her current residence is up this summer. I'm considering moving to the city she lives in and moving in with her, and basically providing adult supervision on her schooling, grades, and extracurricular activities. I wish to God I wasn't referring to my 23 year old sister like some grade-school brat...but yeah, she really needs someone to stand over her shoulder and make sure she goes to class and does her homework, and my parents aren't able to do that long-distance. Our other sister lives in the same city...but she has an apartment with her fiance' and a really hectic job. Not that mine's not hectic...but at least I have reasonable work hours.
It wouldn't be much of an issue to get a job in the city. I recently achieved National Board Certification (for those of you not in education, it's basically the olympics of teaching...I am officially certified and recognized as being among the best teachers in the country). It's basically a piece of paper, but schools would snap me up in a heartbeat. I'd be making a crap-ton more money out of the charter-school system (not that a crap-ton is much, when you're talking about education)...and honestly, moving to the city where my sisters live is one of my long-term goal.
And I could take care of my sister.
Here's the flip side...I'm honestly not sure how that move would affect my plans for the Imp. I guess I could go ahead this summer...but I'm not sure it would be the best idea to go to a new school and immediately turn up pregnant. I don't know that a living situation with a very unstable young woman (and at this point, no, I'm not sure that there isn't something mentally wrong with my sister) is anything I have a right to bring a baby into. I floated the idea by my sister, and she seemed interested...but that's mostly because I don't think she realized that I would be stepping into a supervisory role. She needs it...she's obviously proven that she's not ready to live life on her own, but she doesn't accept that fact and I know such a situation has the potential to go really toxic, really fast.
Much as I hate to admit it, my cooler, more logical side says that such a move would mean putting the Imp off for ANOTHER year. and I know that three years is nothing compared to what some women go through waiting for their babies...but dear God, I don't want to wait. It about killed me putting off my TTC plans last school year.
And then I feel bad and selfish for thinking that way when my sister, who is a person I love who's actually here and not just a hypothetical being, could use my help and support. I feel like it should be a clear-cut choice...but I don't know if that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. And then I start thinking that if I'm hesitating to make a sacrifice for my sister, what the hell kind of mother am I going to be? And so on, and so forth...
And okay, I also recognize that the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem and need help and my sister hasn't done that...but it's not just her that's gonna go down. She really has the potential here to RUIN my parents financially. It's that bad.
I just really don't know what to do here.
So...had our staff Christmas party this evening. I rather like staff Christmas parties...the food generally sucks, the presents are generic re-gifting of the various "World's Best Teacher" paraphenalia that every teacher has a closet full of by the end of their first year out of college (seriously, I counted once...I have, over seven years, acquired 31 coffee mugs, five mouse pads, and 18 random apple-shaped bric-a-brac.), and I think dealing with children day in and day out has a degenerative effect on our own maturity 'cause the games? Yeah, not even going there.
But...we all get together, and there's a minimum of the bitching about troublesome students that usually flows when two or more teachers congregate in the same place (I try not to bitch too much, but yeah, guilty), and I usually have a blast.
And teachers are incredibly amusing if there's copious amounts of alcohol involved. Really. Get a teacher drunk, sometime...we're hilarious!
Well, okay, the time our science teacher got plastered and groped our (female) principal's chest wasn't too funny.
No, I'm lying, it was frickin' hilarious...but only because that particular principal was a horrible administrator who made our jobs way, WAY harder than they had to be, and her expression was priceless.
Tertiary to, well, everything...I really enjoy watching Jay Ellis on Food Network Challenge. His sugar art is gorgeous, his cake designs are elegant and beautiful, he's a good looking man, and he gets this intense, focused look when he's working like if you disturb him, he will turn around and CUT a bitch and then use your blood to tint his frosting.
Ahem.
And in other news, this Elf finds herself once again at an interesting cross-roads. Some days, I really think that my life is some kind of soap-opera that, like, aliens are watching or something. Any day now, I fully expect to run into my evil twin or get amnesia or something. Any road, I mentioned a couple months ago that my youngest sister lost her damn fool mind and got kicked out of college, then promptly lost her damn fool mind some more and just spiraled out of control. Lying, trying to set family members against each other to draw attention from her lies, leaving our parents holding the bag on some pretty hefty student loans...the works. Well...she enrolled in another school and the situation had seemed to be getting better--but we recently found out that 'seemed' is the operative word there. She's STILL lying about her attendance at school, her grades, pretty much everything. At this point, we're not entirely sure WHAT she's doing with her time, but it's not being a responsible adult. And now, she's dangerously close to outright fraud with her student loans, and my parents are going to be in some serious trouble if she doesn't straighten the hell out.
So...her lease on her current residence is up this summer. I'm considering moving to the city she lives in and moving in with her, and basically providing adult supervision on her schooling, grades, and extracurricular activities. I wish to God I wasn't referring to my 23 year old sister like some grade-school brat...but yeah, she really needs someone to stand over her shoulder and make sure she goes to class and does her homework, and my parents aren't able to do that long-distance. Our other sister lives in the same city...but she has an apartment with her fiance' and a really hectic job. Not that mine's not hectic...but at least I have reasonable work hours.
It wouldn't be much of an issue to get a job in the city. I recently achieved National Board Certification (for those of you not in education, it's basically the olympics of teaching...I am officially certified and recognized as being among the best teachers in the country). It's basically a piece of paper, but schools would snap me up in a heartbeat. I'd be making a crap-ton more money out of the charter-school system (not that a crap-ton is much, when you're talking about education)...and honestly, moving to the city where my sisters live is one of my long-term goal.
And I could take care of my sister.
Here's the flip side...I'm honestly not sure how that move would affect my plans for the Imp. I guess I could go ahead this summer...but I'm not sure it would be the best idea to go to a new school and immediately turn up pregnant. I don't know that a living situation with a very unstable young woman (and at this point, no, I'm not sure that there isn't something mentally wrong with my sister) is anything I have a right to bring a baby into. I floated the idea by my sister, and she seemed interested...but that's mostly because I don't think she realized that I would be stepping into a supervisory role. She needs it...she's obviously proven that she's not ready to live life on her own, but she doesn't accept that fact and I know such a situation has the potential to go really toxic, really fast.
Much as I hate to admit it, my cooler, more logical side says that such a move would mean putting the Imp off for ANOTHER year. and I know that three years is nothing compared to what some women go through waiting for their babies...but dear God, I don't want to wait. It about killed me putting off my TTC plans last school year.
And then I feel bad and selfish for thinking that way when my sister, who is a person I love who's actually here and not just a hypothetical being, could use my help and support. I feel like it should be a clear-cut choice...but I don't know if that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. And then I start thinking that if I'm hesitating to make a sacrifice for my sister, what the hell kind of mother am I going to be? And so on, and so forth...
And okay, I also recognize that the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem and need help and my sister hasn't done that...but it's not just her that's gonna go down. She really has the potential here to RUIN my parents financially. It's that bad.
I just really don't know what to do here.
Dec 13, 2009
Up Side? Obedience School Is Doing Something Right...
Down side? The "something right" is clear cut evidence of my impending crazy-pet-person-hood. If I'm not already there. I think it's a toss-up, really.
So, I went down to my mother's this weekend to decorate the Christmas tree with her and my sisters. And of course, I had to take my darling dog, Marley, with me. Along the way, we stopped at a PetsMart (PetSmart? God, I hate cute-sy wordplay business names) to get a bag of his dog food.
Yes, my baby is back on commercial dog food! I'm so excited. Marley's bum liver is a chronic condition that will be with him 'til the day he dies (unless I hit the lottery and therefore am able to pay the six or seven thousand dollars for the surgery that could correct the condition), BUT I found a new support list for people with dogs with the same issue and with their help was able to find an affordable commercial kibble that is safe for him to eat. I was ecstatic, as I'd really been worried about his nutritional needs being met with me cooking for him.
That, and spending fifty to sixty dollars a month just on fish for my dog was starting to get to be a problematic expense.
Any road, we go into PetSmart and as I'm wandering around the aisles, practicing Marley's heeling with him (he's an absolutely PERFECTLY behaved dog...just as long as there is no other living thing in sight besides him and me.) I see a banner proclaiming that Santa will be there in half an hour to take pictures with pets.
And this Elf got an idea.
This Elf got an awful idea.
This Elf got a terrible, awful, WONDERFUL idea.
So, yeah, we sat around in PetsMart (PetSmart?) for half an hour so that Marley could get his picture taken with Santa. And he did marvellously! Seriously, my boy was so good! Like, three sales associates came up and complimented me on how well my dog behaved. And I got a gorgeous picture of Marley with Santa, sitting next to the big guy just as prim and proper as you please.
Granted, I have become one of those people that takes professional family pictures of pets...but I'm okay with that. It's a really awesome picture. And Marley actually got up on the bench and sat! Still! And looked attentively at the camera (well, looked attentively at me while I stood behind the camera lady, frantically making his 'stay' signal and going "stay! Staaaaaayyyyy!" like a jackass...but it worked!). And didn't try to jump at any of the other dogs that were all lined up.
Though I got really pissed at this one customer who let his friggin' yappy poodle-lhasa apso-bichon-whatever (it was one of those little white dust-mop dogs) just come right up to Marley in line and didn't even try to hold his dog back. I don't mind a little friendly sniff, but this vicious little bugger was barking its head off and lunging at Marley and when the guy let it get up close it BIT MY DOG ON THE FACE. Marley's got a real gentle-giant complex going, and I am sincerely glad that he looks so intimidating, 'cause God help me if he ever has to actually defend me from everything (he lets my sister's mini-dachsaund boss him around). Marley was more surprised than hurt, but he backed up and absolutely plastered himself against my legs. And I'm all "Hey! Keep hold of your leash!"
And the guy had the gall to glare at ME, like I'd done something wrong.
Anyways, fun little outing, and Marley did excellently...another few weeks and I might actually have a dog that's fit to be out in public :)
Things this Elf is looking forward to: Christmas! Woohoo.
Things currently annoying her: stupid pet owners who don't realize that just 'cause your dog's little, doesn't mean you don't have to control it!
Pretty boy of the moment: Matt Bomer (are you watching White Collar? You should be!)
So, I went down to my mother's this weekend to decorate the Christmas tree with her and my sisters. And of course, I had to take my darling dog, Marley, with me. Along the way, we stopped at a PetsMart (PetSmart? God, I hate cute-sy wordplay business names) to get a bag of his dog food.
Yes, my baby is back on commercial dog food! I'm so excited. Marley's bum liver is a chronic condition that will be with him 'til the day he dies (unless I hit the lottery and therefore am able to pay the six or seven thousand dollars for the surgery that could correct the condition), BUT I found a new support list for people with dogs with the same issue and with their help was able to find an affordable commercial kibble that is safe for him to eat. I was ecstatic, as I'd really been worried about his nutritional needs being met with me cooking for him.
That, and spending fifty to sixty dollars a month just on fish for my dog was starting to get to be a problematic expense.
Any road, we go into PetSmart and as I'm wandering around the aisles, practicing Marley's heeling with him (he's an absolutely PERFECTLY behaved dog...just as long as there is no other living thing in sight besides him and me.) I see a banner proclaiming that Santa will be there in half an hour to take pictures with pets.
And this Elf got an idea.
This Elf got an awful idea.
This Elf got a terrible, awful, WONDERFUL idea.
So, yeah, we sat around in PetsMart (PetSmart?) for half an hour so that Marley could get his picture taken with Santa. And he did marvellously! Seriously, my boy was so good! Like, three sales associates came up and complimented me on how well my dog behaved. And I got a gorgeous picture of Marley with Santa, sitting next to the big guy just as prim and proper as you please.
Granted, I have become one of those people that takes professional family pictures of pets...but I'm okay with that. It's a really awesome picture. And Marley actually got up on the bench and sat! Still! And looked attentively at the camera (well, looked attentively at me while I stood behind the camera lady, frantically making his 'stay' signal and going "stay! Staaaaaayyyyy!" like a jackass...but it worked!). And didn't try to jump at any of the other dogs that were all lined up.
Though I got really pissed at this one customer who let his friggin' yappy poodle-lhasa apso-bichon-whatever (it was one of those little white dust-mop dogs) just come right up to Marley in line and didn't even try to hold his dog back. I don't mind a little friendly sniff, but this vicious little bugger was barking its head off and lunging at Marley and when the guy let it get up close it BIT MY DOG ON THE FACE. Marley's got a real gentle-giant complex going, and I am sincerely glad that he looks so intimidating, 'cause God help me if he ever has to actually defend me from everything (he lets my sister's mini-dachsaund boss him around). Marley was more surprised than hurt, but he backed up and absolutely plastered himself against my legs. And I'm all "Hey! Keep hold of your leash!"
And the guy had the gall to glare at ME, like I'd done something wrong.
Anyways, fun little outing, and Marley did excellently...another few weeks and I might actually have a dog that's fit to be out in public :)
Things this Elf is looking forward to: Christmas! Woohoo.
Things currently annoying her: stupid pet owners who don't realize that just 'cause your dog's little, doesn't mean you don't have to control it!
Pretty boy of the moment: Matt Bomer (are you watching White Collar? You should be!)
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